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- I will say right off: I make
no claims to this being a good picture book.
- I’m an editor, not a creative writer, so the text is still pretty
flat.
- And it contains some of the worst pictures of me ever committed
to pixel.
- Some of that is the fault of the manuscript, as you’ll see, and some
of it is the fault of the pictures.
- But it does do some things right, so I hope you find it useful and
interesting to think about, at the very least.
- (The first number below refers to the spread number in the Flash
player; the Page number refers to the page numbers in the book.)
- 01 – Page 1 - Title page.
- 02 – Pages 2-3
- Copyright and dedication. A perfect picture book
starts developing the story from page 1—or even from the endpapers, if the book has printed ends. Even though the action
hasn’t started yet, the title page, copyright, and dedication are the illustrator’s opportunity to set the stage,
introduce visual motifs, and start drawing readers into the world of the book.
- Here, you see, I’m doing that with dancing cookies.
- 03 - Pages 4-5. These illustrations, you can see, are so lame they’re rather
funny, but this communicates the idea visually that the text explains verbally.
- Note that I reversed the phrasing of this first line from the manuscript
so that the last phrase on the page—the idea the reader takes into the next spread—is not their distance, but
their friendship.
- 04 - Pages 6-7. The conversation starts . . .
- 05 – Pages 8-9 And continues . .
.
- 06 – Pages 10-11 And continues . . .
- 07 – Pages 12-13 And ends. You remember how I said earlier that conversations in
picture books can be very boring? You have just witnessed why!
- Repetitions like this can work if something significant is changing each
time—e.g., if Cheryl is getting madder and madder and madder, and Katy is getting sadder and sadder and sadder, and
everything else is staying the same. That’s what I was going
for here.
- But four spreads is a long time, picture-book-wise, to show the same images
and layout.
- I could have arranged it so these four pictures took up only two
spreads, with four pictures to a spread, and bought myself two spreads for later; but I didn’t feel I needed them, and
- 08 - Pages 14-15. Cheryl stomps
around and kicks the table.
- Nice to vary the action a bit, isn’t it?
- 09 – Pages 16-17. Cheryl’s point of highest emotional distress.
- I had originally intended to have this text on the previous spread,
after the kicking the table, and you can see this original layout in 10 – Pages
14-15A.
- But when I was putting my PowerPoint presentation together, I realized
I hadn’t actually created a spread for 16-17, so my book was going to be a spread short.
- So instead of getting a single-page picture of Cheryl screaming,
we have a full spread of Cheryl screaming.
- And this actually worked out well, as ugly as this picture is, because this is really the first
turning point of the book, the end of Act I: We’ve reached the end of the
Problem (Cheryl’s in a bad mood) and are about to go into the Process of getting her out of it (making cookies).
- Thus we mark the end of Act I with the first spread we’ve had since
p. 4-5,
- So you can feel the intensity here, through the full page illustration,
the extreme closeup, and the bright type.
- It’s much more effective than 10 – Pages 14-15A, isn’t it?
- 11 – Pages 18-19. The assembly of the ingredients.
- The illustration in the top left corner—someone thinking.
Boring! This is why picture-book texts need to focus on external action.
- This text, and this illustration, could be cut with very little
loss—certainly no emotional loss, since there’s nothing emotional (or even interesting) about this picture.
- 12 – Pages 20-21. Here’s a pretty good example of using spots to make a boring
text more interesting.
- The eye bounces around the page, as does Cheryl’s position.
- If I had planned this out properly, you could see my facial expressions
get less and less angry as I get deeper and deeper into the cooking.
- Alas, I did not plan this properly—but so it goes.
- I have a lot of lists in this manuscript
- The list of what Katy and I were saying to each other, that rhythmic bouncing
back and forth
- The list of ingredients
- The list of actions here
- The list of pictures of Katy later
- That’s about three too many
- Lists work best when you can use them to establish a rhythm, as in the
conversation with Katy earlier, or when they can be used in action, as here
- And in all cases, they
must advance the plot. This list serves the action plot, I suppose, as you do see me making cookies; but as with the list
of ingredients, there’s nothing emotional about it, and it could probably go.
- 13 – Pages 22-23. And here you see me mashing the banana.
- Again, it’s a full-page spread. I chose this deliberately because
this is the turning point for Cheryl’s attitude towards Katy; it’s the first time she thinks, Oh, I made a mistake, and I wanted to emphasize the importance of that moment for readers.
- Though it’s undercut here by the fact I’m smiling, I admit.
- That was supposed to be smiling at the pleasure of mashing.
- 14 – Pages 24-25. Spooning out the batter—“and not all of it into the
pan.”
- The bottom left picture is one of the few good things in this book—a
place where the illustrations and text work together just as they should, and you need both to understand perfectly what’s
happening. I like that.
- A real illustrator would always show the character’s face, of course,
and not have her looking like Cousin It in that top right picture.
- And in the bottom right—a little boring.
- 15 – Pages 26-27. The pink background—that’s a visual signal that we’ve
shifted out of the regular world of the picture book, the world we’ve been in thus far,
- Into the visual world of the album—and you can tell because the album
matches the background.
- Again, it’s a little too early for me to be smiling so hugely
here.
- 16 – Pages 28-29. The
climax of the book emotionally: seeing Katy and Cheryl together. This is the
kind of unity in friendship they’re supposed to have, and it calls Cheryl back to her purpose on the next page:
- 17 – Pages 30-31. We’re back in
the real world (no pink) and we’re using an almost-full-spread here, because I wanted to give the text and illustrations
close to equal weight. If the illustration just showed Cheryl smiling at the cookie, on a full spread, then we would know
she was happy with the cookie, but the fact that her happiness was tied to her thinking about Katy might have gotten lost.
But if the text gets equal space with the illustration, then we know that the text is just as important here—and that
the friendship and love are what’s making her happy as well.
- 18 – Page 32. And again, a good combination of text and art, where the page wouldn’t
make sense without the two working together.
- The text saying I’m sorry with the picture saying “I’m sorry” is a little bit
redundant—the note should perhaps say, “Friends?” or something like that instead.
- The cookies in the top left are McVitie’s rather than the
actual cookies, because I, um, ate all the real cookies before I took this picture.
- The 2008 Caldecott winner it isn’t—but I hope it’s
served its purpose here.
- And you can find a recipe for marvelous banana oatmeal chocolate chip
cookies here
- And a list of great picture books for further study here.
- So, to tie things up here: A perfect picture book
- Will speak to a child’s external and emotional concerns
- Has a clear narrative through-line,
- Whether Problem-Process-Solution if it’s a story book.
- Or another form of organization if it’s a Now book.
- Is tightly written, with no unnecessary dramatization or redundancies with
the illustration.
- The illustrations vary in perspective, layout, size, position on the page,
etc., as appropriate for the story.
- You can follow the action simply by looking at the pictures—you don’t
need to see the words
- But the words add another level of depth and interest to the pictures.
- And the two of them work in harmony to create an emotional experience as well as an artistic one.
- A picture book manuscript is an incredibly challenging form—perhaps
the very hardest form of writing out there
- Because it requires so much tautness of text,
- Such imagination on the writer’s part first to give up her
words in favor of the pictures,
- And then the humility and willingness to do so.
- But when it works,
- Through the writer’s words,
- And the illustrator’s art,
- Both their intelligence and wisdom,
- And all the love in their hearts
- You create books that live in children’s hearts forever
- Cherished, pored over, passed down through the generations,
- Like a beloved family cookie recipe.
- Those are the kind of picture books I want to make.
- And I hope I have the chance to do that with some of you.
- Thank you.
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