- "Perform marriages within any US state, following the rules laid out by the state in which you wish to perform said marriage."
- "Perform funerals, baptisms, last rites or any other sort of legal ceremony or ritual you wish to perform, except circumcision."
- "Start a church of your own, be it a bricks and mortar building or on the internet."
- "Absolve others of their sins as you have been absolved of yours."
Despite these extensive new abilities, no great career change is in the offing -- my only plans are to officiate my cousin Hans's wedding this coming May. (Indeed, Hans and Megan's request that I do so was the sole reason for my ordination.) But if you want me to perform your wedding, funeral, baptism, last rite, or any other sort of legal ceremony or ritual except circumcision (ahem), do just let me know.
Now on to the really Big Question . . . What should I wear???